Indulgence
by The Elemental Shark
Summary: Judai had become a drug: without him, Yubel's life was dull and meaningless.
1. Bloom

Notes: This was written for the 30 Forbidden Livejournal challenge (though there's thirty-one total because one of the bonuses—this first part—struck me as particularly fitting), partly an expansion of an extended history for Yubel I wrote for part of an

Notes: This is for the 30 Forbidden Livejournal challenge (though there's thirty-one total because I wanted to use one of the bonuses, this first part), and is partly an expansion of an extended history for Yubel I wrote for part of an RP application sitting on a Word document somewhere. Yubel and Judai's ages here are guesses on my part, based on screencaps of the flashback in episode 155.

Disclaimer: GX, its characters, and everything else it encompasses do not belong to me.

**Bloom**

The hyacinths in the castle gardens were Yubel's favorite. Most of them grew in a corner of the gardens that casual visitors out for a leisurely stroll rarely passed by, though Yubel frequented it often. Red and pink varieties were scattered here and there among purple and yellow, with plenty of blue all throughout the area; it wasn't strict and uniform like the order maintained in other parts of the garden, but that didn't make the medley of colors any less bright in Yubel's eyes.

It was near a cluster of red hyacinths that she first happened upon the prince. Yubel took a moment to recognize him—he wore a plain tunic instead of the formal wear he usually donned in public, and this was the first time she'd ever seen him so closely—but when she did Yubel jumped back, startled. "P-Prince! How did you get here? Why? It's getting late, and you should be inside by now!"

The prince laughed nervously, rubbing his head sheepishly. "I came out by myself. I wanted to get some flowers," he admitted. "I needed something to finish off my gift for Mother's birthday tomorrow and I thought she would enjoy some flowers, so I came out to search for something she might like." He studied the hyacinths. "Do you think she'd like these?"

Yubel hadn't imagined meeting the prince like this. The adults always whispered about him and spoke as if he was a hero, though they kept the reason for all the fuss a secret from anyone outside the castle or anyone too young to remember the prince's birth (including her). Yubel had been expecting more dignity of somebody who was cause for so much talk, even if he was only a year younger than her at thirteen. He seemed nice, though, and of course it wouldn't do to speak ill of the prince.

She smiled and leaned over to examine one of the hyacinths. "Yes, I think the queen would like one of these very much. These flowers are beautiful."

The prince smiled, and he reached out to touch the one she was giving her attention to. "What's your name?"

The request surprised Yubel again, and she stuttered for a second. "Y-Yubel. My name is Yubel. My prince," she added respectfully at the last second, not wanting to give off any impression of rudeness.

The prince beamed at her. "Thank you, Yubel!" He turned to leave, but paused and glanced back at her. "Are you going to be here tomorrow?"

This time Yubel expected the question. "I will, if it pleases you. There should be an hour or so between the end of the morning meal and the beginning of my lessons." She looked at him questioningly. She didn't want to make hasty assumptions in case she offended him for some reason, but did he mean…

"Would you like to come out here with me to take some flowers, then?" the prince asked. "It's only if you want to. I don't want to make you do anything."

"Of course I will come!" Yubel said hurriedly. "It would be an honor, my prince." And as she said it she could hardly believe it. The _prince_ wanted to meet her again tomorrow, even if it was only for a short time? She doubted he'd known her at all until a few minutes ago!

The prince, on the other hand, didn't seem to share her reservations. "I'll see you in the morning, then!" He began running off in the direction of the castle. "Goodbye, Yubel!"

Yubel watched him go before starting towards the castle herself (it was nearing dusk, and going in soon was wisest), wondering what she'd just gotten herself into.

* * *

The next morning Yubel returned to the garden as she'd said, where the prince was already waiting for her. He now sported the traditional outfit Yubel was accustomed to seeing him in, presumably for his mother. When Yubel tried to apologize for making him wait, he waved her off. "I made sure to come early in case you were busy this morning. Do you think this is a good one?" He pointed at one hyacinth; this one was white, like Yubel remembered the queen was partial to.

"I think that's a very good one, my prince."

"You don't have to call me that!" The prince faced her and shook his head, reaching out to put a hand on Yubel's shoulder. "You're almost my age, and we're friends, right?"

"Friends? You, with me?" Yubel hadn't considered the thought. All last night she'd been worrying over the impression she'd made on the prince, not thinking about friendship. The idea of a friendship between her and the prince seemed grand, though she supposed if that was what he wanted then it would be all right. "If that's what you wish, my prince."

"Don't you want to be friends?"

"To be honest, my—er, that is, I never really thought you would…" It was remarkable how this boy, not even quite her age, could turn Yubel into such a mess. She didn't usually act like this! Finally she gave up and blurted out the first thing she could find to say: "Yes, yes I do!"

"Then call me Judai." The prince bent down and eyed the hyacinth he'd picked out. "Yubel, do you know how to cut these? I'm not very knowledgeable with flowers."

Yubel was silent for a moment, stunned by his nonchalance, but she quickly recovered and began explaining what she'd learned from the gardeners in the past.

Later that day Yubel found that a note had been delivered to her room, along with a vibrant red hyacinth in full bloom. The note had no signature, simply reading "Thank you," but it needed none.

Yubel smiled to herself, wondering if she could get a vase of some sort for the flower. "You're welcome, Judai," she murmured to the note.


	2. Sweet

There were times where Yubel and Judai had lessons to attend while the other didn't, but it didn't occur to Yubel to see what Judai was doing until a few weeks after they first met

Notes: Apologies for the lateness—this went through two or three complete rewrites and other business kept me distracted from this.

Disclaimer: GX, its characters, and everything else it encompasses do not belong to me.

* * *

**Sweet**

There were times where Yubel and Judai had lessons to attend while the other didn't, but it didn't occur to Yubel to see what Judai was doing until over a month after they first met. Summer had just begun and the weather grew hotter and more humid by the day, but when Yubel first ventured out and saw Judai practicing his swordsmanship outside he barely seemed to notice. Yubel watched him and his instructor from the shade of the castle's shadow. She enjoyed the milder temperatures of springtime, but she found the stifling summer heat less agreeable.

Judai didn't catch her until he and his instructor were done, but when he did he brightened, waving an arm at Yubel as he neared the doors she stood by. He looked fatigued despite his cheer, and Yubel watched him with concern. "How long have you been out here?" she asked when he was close enough.

"An hour or so. Not too long." Judai wiped sweat off his forehead, and on closer examination Yubel could see the heat _had_ taken some effect upon him. "Freed feels heat as I or any man would."

"We should still go inside where it's cooler. Exerting yourself in this heat must be tiring."

"You don't need to worry over me as you do, Yubel," Judai assured her. "I've been taught and trained for years now, so I should be able to withstand some summer heat. But going indoors is like a welcome idea, now that we're done. You don't have anything to do for a few hours either, do you?"

"What? N-no, I don't." Yubel was startled; it felt as if he knew more about her than she did about him, and that embarrassed her. They were friends. She ought to learn that about him, shouldn't she?

That night after supper Yubel found some parchment and wrote out what she knew about Judai. The organization came harder than expected, and she hadn't had much practice writing outside of the lessons she'd asked her parents for, but Yubel took the time to think over it. She had a creditable memory and she recalled snippets of conversation to begin piecing together. There was always the option of asking Judai later, of course, but that wasn't enough. Yubel planned to put _effort_ into this, learning even a little more about Judai if she could. That was supposed to make the end result more satisfying, wasn't it?

When she finally finished Yubel had no idea what time it could be, but she suspected it was late. Now that she'd finished Yubel realized how _tired_ the work and thought had made her, so she put out the candles and retired to bed, and that night Yubel dreamed of Judai.

Judai pervaded her mind in the morning from the time Yubel woke up and recalled that Judai often rose earlier than she did, though he preferred to sleep late if he could get away with it. The midday meal reminded Yubel that he liked seafood; on the way to lessons, she muttered to herself the near-complete schedule she'd written up and found that his day was busier than hers, despite the classes Yubel had requested. _It's fitting, for someone who will be our future king._ And being able to know all this about Judai pleased Yubel. The work had been worth it.

The next morning Yubel went out to watch Judai train again for a few moments, though when he spotted her Yubel hastily left again. She would rather have stayed, but if her presence distracted Judai then it would interrupt his training and his instructor wouldn't be too pleased with it either. When she judged the time to be around when the session was over, however, she returned. Sure enough, Judai was done.

"Yubel! You're here again?" Yubel nodded, inwardly scrambling to make up an explanation in case he asked for one. She was reluctant to mention what she'd done the previous night, and Yubel wasn't sure how he would react to her saying she wanted to see him for no explainable reason. She came up with nothing, but thankfully Judai didn't ask after all. "Will this become regular? Maybe I should start coming to visit you after some of your lessons."

"You don't have to go to that trouble. It's fine."

"I will if I want to. Didn't you do that, just now?"

Yubel couldn't argue with that, and though she kept it to herself the idea of Judai coming for her was flattering. "As you wish, then."

Despite the summer heat, Yubel liked to meet Judai the most when he was out training with Freed. She only came out around the end, usually when he was finishing up, but occasionally Yubel did watch him up against Freed (usually being "defeated," though once or twice he did manage to outperform his instructor) and watching him was magnificent. Yubel had little knowledge of fighting, but it didn't take that much to appreciate the practiced fluidity she saw. Judai always claimed he still had a lot to learn—"Freed doesn't like me to grow overconfident in what I can do"—but Yubel admired him nevertheless.

"I can't fight like that," she mentioned one day. "I'm fair at running and a few of the sports I've tried, but I've never fought."

"Oh?" Judai asked. "How well can you run?"

"Well enough, for a girl of my age. I like it enough, but it's rare I have a need for it. When I do, the girls remark that I 'look especially like a boy' while I do it. Not that I could likely outrun you," Yubel hastily added. "Only compared to the other girls."

"Are you familiar with any of them? Are any of them your friends?"

Taken aback for a second at the question, Yubel gathered herself before answering. "N-not in the same way you and I are friends," she answered, blushing slightly at referring to their relationship as such. "We share classes, but I'm hardly part of their circle. They call me too boyish. Why do you ask?"

This time she surprised Judai, who looked momentary puzzled before breaking out into a laugh. "I don't know! I'm sorry, am I asking too many questions of you?"

"No, not at all." It occurred to Yubel that she might want to ask some questions herself, and she remembered the night she'd written about Judai. Maybe straight questions, like those Judai asked now, weren't as out of the question as she'd thought. Judai was doing that now. Though she was still proud of the work she'd put into it, of course "This is one way to become more acquainted with friends, isn't it?" she asked aloud.

"You're right! We should do that more." Judai hesitated before adding more quietly, "It sounds strange, but I really like having you as a friend, Yubel."

Again Yubel was surprised. Apparently they were more alike than she'd believed. "I feel the same way!" That wasn't the least of it—and what the _most_ of it was Yubel couldn't say, but that she was glad she and Judai were friends couldn't come close to how she did feel now—but it would do for now.

And luckily it seemed that Judai shared her enthusiasm. "You're honest? We need to do something together, then! What do you think?"

"It's a good idea. It should be after your training, since we meet most often following those."

"That's about half an hour before the midday meal. We could have lunch outside, perhaps? If we can get the needed permissions, I'm familiar with the kitchen cooks. I can ask them for some food to take for the both of us. We can go and bring it outside when I'm dismissed."

"That sounds like a plan. What day should we plan this for?"

Judai took a second to think. "How about four days from today? That should be more than enough time."

"Four days it is, then."

* * *

Four days later Yubel met Judai outside as usual and together they went to the kitchens. Judai was indeed friendly with the cooks, and though the cooks were too busy to talk for long with the midday meal so soon Yubel left carrying a basket full of food. Judai carried a smaller box given to him by the cooks, refusing to let Yubel take it. He insisted on carrying the blanket after that, so Yubel grabbed the few extra plates they were bringing out, despite his protests.

They set up outside, laying out the blanket on the grass and setting the blanket on it. Yubel took out the food in her basket and Judai took out the food in his, though he left the smaller box unopened. Taking food for themselves, the two began to eat.

The cooks had told them that their food was little more special than a portion of the meal they would have otherwise received in a few minutes on a normal day, but to Yubel everything tasted delicious. Judai seemed to think so too, and as Yubel had already known he especially enjoyed the fish they'd brought.

She'd had her doubts about being able to finish all the food, but it turned out that by the time they were pleasantly full the baskets were nearly empty. For a while Yubel and Judai just laid down next to each other, half on the blanket and half on the ground, blades of grass tickling their arms and necks as they watched the sky. Neither talked at first, until after what could have been five minutes or five hours Judai sat up and stretched.

"It's hot."

"It is," Yubel agreed.

"It would be easy to fall asleep like this," Judai remarked, lying back down. "Heat like this makes it easy to have a nice nap."

"I don't want to nap," Yubel mumbled absentmindedly.

"Neither do I right now. Hey." Judai sat up again and looked over at Yubel. "You said you were a runner, right?"

"I'm an adequate one. Why?"

"Race me." Judai eased himself up more until he sat cross-legged facing Yubel. "Let's see how well you run."

Yubel raised herself up as well, balancing herself on her arms as she turned her head towards Judai. "I'm not nearly quick enough to beat the likes of _you._ If you expect a challenge, you'd best stop counting on one."

"So?" Judai asked. "It'll be fun anyway! This isn't a contest, and there are no prizes. It doesn't matter who wins or loses. And it's better than sitting here trying not to fall asleep, right?"

"But it's _hot."_

"What's a little more heat? It won't be for too long, I promise." Judai gave her a reassuring smile. "Just enough to wake us up. You said you didn't want to nap, didn't you?"

"I don't want to run, either."

"Oh, come on! Are _you_ being the lazy one right now?" Judai wagged a teasing finger in front of her face. "You're the one who chides me for shirking lessons, and now I have to get you to run? I thought you said you liked it."

"Did I?"

"You did a few days a go, when we planned this."

"I don't enjoy it _that_ much."

"One race. It can't do any harm, can it?"

Yubel hesitated for a moment before giving in, giving an exaggerated sigh of exasperation before moving to stand up. "Fine, fine."

"It'll be fun, you'll see." Judai hopped to his feet and surveyed the area. "How's that?" He pointed to a tree roughly a hundred meters or so away. "To that tree and back?"

"It's as good as anything else."

"Get ready, then!" Judai positioned himself to begin running and Yubel did the same. "On the count of three! One, two—three!"

And they were off. At first Yubel ran slowly and stumbled twice, unused to the spontaneous running, but after about the first thirty meters she found she could and did speed up. Judai was already far ahead, but Yubel's pride urged her to do her best to catch up with him even as her sense insisted that she couldn't. By the time they reached the tree Yubel had narrowed down the distance between the two of them by a few meters; as Judai arrived at the blanket marking their starting point and finish line, she lagged somewhere around ten to twelve meters behind him.

It was better than she'd done before, but the distance that remained as she went the final distance to the finish line seemed to extend and she felt every step between them. "I—told you would win," she said between pants, wiping her forehead to sweep off some of the sweat. It really was too hot, and the run hadn't made it any better. "You win."

"No, we have to do that again sometime!" Judai insisted, though he too was flushed. "You got pretty fast back there, Yubel. I want to see you run like that again! But not now." He sat down on the blanket and lay down, spreading his arms out. "Maybe wait a few minutes so we can cool down first."

"What? A few minutes? Didn't you say _one_ race?"

"Well, now it's one _good_ race. Aren't you curious to find out how well you can run, too?"

"I won't be able to outrace you."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe you're wrong. What does it matter? You were right, Yubel: you're not a bad runner. You're not the quickest, but neither am I. I'd be easily bested by any number of different monsters. Think of how the speeds some of those that fly can reach!"

"That's not the same thing."

"It's similar enough. If you have even a little skill, you should be glad! Encourage, growth, but appreciate what you do have because that little skill could help a lot. Freed always told me that."

Sometimes Judai's ability to persuade Yubel chagrined her. There were times where he made little sense, and then there were times where he made entirely too much sense. "You admire Freed, don't you?"

Judai sensed the yield in her tone and flashed Yubel a grin as he sprang up. "He's an admirable instructor, and he's been doing it for years. Let's go."

They readied themselves again, and Judai began the countdown. "One, two…" He trailed off at the end, glancing to his right at Yubel for a brief second.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing." He turned back forward, looking towards the tree again. "One, two…" Another pause, just a few beats longer than Yubel had anticipated. _"Three!"_ With that Judai ran off, leaving Yubel to gape before realizing what had happened.

"_Judai, you—"_ She sprinted after him, trying to suppress a laugh bubbling up from amidst her indignation. Oh, he wanted to play tricks now? Well, they'd see how far a little cheat like that got him.

The distance between then was smaller now, and as Yubel came within a few meters of the tree Judai passed her on his second leg on the race. On impulse Yubel reached out as he did, giving him a shove forceful enough to throw him momentarily off balance. His yelp and the startled cry of "Yubel!" would have made her giggle, but neither was willing to spend the effort yet while the race was still on.

The shove gave Yubel enough time to catch up with Judai, to her amazement, and for most of the remaining distance they ran nearly side-by-side. At about twenty meters from the blanket they exchanged looks as if cued and put on final bursts of speed for this last bit of the race. It was close and it was exhilarating, and as Yubel stumbled on to the blanket's edge a couple seconds behind Judai she purposely fell backwards, landing to sit on the grass with an impact and laying the rest of her down. Judai followed suit. Like before, neither spoke and for a few minutes there was only heavy breathing as they recovered from the race.

"It's hot," Judai said again.

"I can't imagine why," Yubel drawled.

"Let's not do that again today."

"That would be one of your better ideas."

"You _were_ good, though," he continued. "You can't say you weren't, not after what we just did."

Agreeing felt too presumptuous. "You cheated."

"So did you!" She knew that was how he'd respond, but it changed the subject enough. "That's not fair."

"You were the one who began that unfairness."

"You continued it!"

"What is a prince but an example for his people?"

Judai shoved her playfully, and she shoved back. It continued like that for a few rounds, and they laughed. "Let's agree that we both cheated," Judai suggested. "So we both lost, or rather we both won. Losing is too negative for this."

"Victory is a satisfying feeling."

"It is, isn't it?"

"We should do this again sometime."

"That's not a bad idea. The racing, the meal, the—_oh!"_ Judai sat up abruptly. "I almost forgot!"

"Forgot what?"

"A surprise." Not moving from where he sat, Judai reached out an arm to grab the small box he'd carried when they first came out. He opened the box, tipping it at an angle so that Yubel could see the contents now.

"More food?"

"Nut pastries. I made them myself. There were a lot so I gave most of them to the cooks, but I brought a few for today. I'm not an experienced cook at all, but I thought they might be nice." Judai picked one out and took a tentative bite. "I might have put in too much honey."

Yubel sat up and chose one for herself, nibbling at it. "It's not that bad. Sweeter than what you might normally have, but it's not terrible."

Judai regarded her curiously. "Do you think? Try a larger portion."

Yubel obeyed, deliberating as she chewed. "It is a little overwhelming," she admitted, deciding to be honest with him. "Especially with the heat, because even the air is sticky. That you can do this at all is worth some merit, though. I know nothing of cooking myself."

"Really? I thought you'd be able to do _something,_ since you're a…" Judai reddened, realizing his folly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed something like that. But I can show you a little, if there's ever some time we're able to. That is, if you don't mind being helped by somebody new to it himself."

"No, no! I'm not aiming to master it. I couldn't possibly hope for that. I don't expect to ever have much need of it, here. Being able to cook well isn't a requirement if I'm to be married off to some young noble boy or other within a few years." She kept her face wry and ironic, though inside her own comment pulled at her. Her mother had been hinting at such subjects since mid-spring, and she'd begun directly bringing it up the past month.

Judai laughed, but it rang hollow. He didn't seem too thrilled by the idea either, and Yubel couldn't blame him. Marriage of any kind was not in her interests right now; as grateful she was to her parents for the freedom they allowed her, she privately wished her mother would at least leave the matter until she was older.

"But let's not talk about that," she said, surprising herself as she spoke. "It's still too hot to speak of the future or anything serious." She started on her pastry again. "Mm. It's sweet, but still not horrible. And that can always be changed next time, if you ever make this again."

Judai smiled, genuinely this time. "I'll definitely make it again, for sure. And I can show you how, if we ever find the time."

"Good! And…I'd like that." Yubel finished her pastry and reached for another, this time savoring the onslaught of honey as she bit into it. "We should go in soon," she murmured after a few minutes, craning her head up to check the sun's position. "How long have we been here?"

"I'm not sure. You're probably right." Judai looked up too but didn't move to get up. "Let's stay a few more minutes."

"All right." Yubel was fine with staying out here with Judai for a little bit longer. Just fine.

It was another twenty minutes before they began packing up to leave.


	3. Amuse

**Disclaimer:** GX, its characters, and everything else it encompasses do not belong to me.

* * *

Yubel walked into the room nervously, fidgeting slightly as she did. This would be her first time speaking with the king personally, and having heard a little from what Judai had told her in the past she had no idea what to expect. She didn't even know why he'd requested this meeting, though she guessed it was about the autumn festival that would be taking place in a few days.

Judai asking her to come to the festival with him had been a shock. Even though they were friends now, Judai was still kept under close enough guard most of the time nowadays so that he couldn't stray beyond the castle's boundaries without being accompanied by a number of others. That was fine with Yubel, who rarely passed the boundaries anyway, but they would be completely alone together for the festival, without any guards or other attendants. Stranger still was the fact that the king would summon her to see him, when according to Judai he had been the one to allow all that. Judai had no explanation for it, but he'd been more than pleased to be able to go with her.

As Yubel sat down, the king started the conversation. "Yubel. I've heard much about you recently."

"Is that so." Yubel's voice was more controlled than she'd expected, and she fought to establish the same calm inside herself as outside. _Pretend I'm in class, answering questions for the tutor. Don't stumble. There are no difficult answers, or at the very least not yet._

"My son has spoken of you several times since the spring. He has high opinions of you, and he's been much happier since about the time he began mentioning you to us."

Yubel had to restrain herself from gaping, or showing any reaction she thought unwise to show the king; she could read little in his expression, and Yubel wasn't sure how she herself was meant to respond. Happier? The prince did seem to have a brighter personality than she'd expected of a boy who'd been kept fairly isolated since birth, but to attribute that to _her_ hardly seemed appropriate.

But that alone couldn't be the reason she'd been summoned. "If I may ask, sir, is there another reason, you wanted to speak with me?"

"You don't want to waste words, then. Yes, there is a reason." The king sighed, and some of his forbidding demeanor vanished to hint at discomfort. "Forgive me for my rudeness, but I have doubts about your friendship with him. Not because you have demonstrated anything that would deem you untrustworthy," he added hastily, seeing Yubel open her mouth to speak up in protest, "but he _is_ my son, and a small, young kingdom such as ours could easily be seen as vulnerable, by those wishing to increase their own lands' boundaries.

"And Judai is…special, in other ways outside of heritage. Going out among others may be dangerous for him. And if you accompany him, that danger extends to you as well."

Telling something while telling nothing. Yubel mentally excused herself for thinking such things, but the king's lack of straightforwardness was beginning to get on her nerves. Why he told her this was obvious enough on the surface, but she sensed something underlying his words—something to be wary of.

"If he's in danger, why not set up guards? That must be some protection."

"He's learned to escape them when he wants to do so. Quickly, and by now with ease." And despite herself Yubel couldn't help a grin. Of course; Judai _would_ do that.

"With all due respects, you still haven't given me a proper point. What do you expect of me now?"

The king hesitated again. "You know he wishes to go to the festival in town."

"Yes." More and more frustration had begun creeping into her tone and Yubel reddened slightly at the display, though she didn't apologize.

Luckily for her, the king didn't seem to take offense. "Because it's anticipated to be a peaceful event, we're allowing him to go if he's accompanied. But he will not take a guard, and I will not be able to attend as I usually do, for…certain negotiations. He asked for _you,_ as well, and I thought it wise to grant him that."

"I already know that."

"Very well. But also be aware, _very_ aware, that Judai's life and safety are more important than anything. Should anything threaten him…" He trailed off and looked at her intently, opening his mouth but evidently changing his mind, keeping his gaze on her—was that something like _pity_ she saw in his expression?—and waving a hand to dismiss her.

_Secrets,_ Yubel thought to herself in irritation as she thanked the king politely and left the room. She couldn't stand the things.

* * *

She hadn't expected the festival to be so _big._

It had been a long trek down; the castle was situated on a huge hill overlooking the sea and the surrounding land. The walk down alone took an hour, and another twenty minutes to reach their destination below. It was a warm day, and by the time they got there Yubel was glad she'd dressed light.

But the crowd of people gathered was longer than any Yubel had ever seen before, and many of their eyes were on _her._ It made sense, logically; Judai had attended this festival with his father for years, and he was more familiar to them than she was. But she hadn't really considered what it was like to have dozens of people watching her all at once because of whom she was company to.

An amiable-looking vendor whom Judai seemed to recognize with was the first to directly acknowledge Yubel's presence when the two stopped to have some food. "And who is this?" the vendor asked as he gave Judai a few skewers of roasted fish and vegetables in exchange for some coins. "She sure isn't the queen, and nobody's heard news yet of any betrothal arrangements going on."

Judai looked rather uncomfortable at the mention of that and stammered, "N-no! This is Yubel, a friend of mine. My father can't be here because of other business, but he's allowing me to come today with her."

"Oh?" The vendor laughed, heartily and with surprising familiarity for somebody who Yubel guessed Judai only conversed with once or twice a year at most. "Well, then," he continued graciously as he handed her an extra skewer, "please enjoy yourself to the fullest today, Lady!"

Still a bit dazed from the newness of the town, Yubel dumbly accepted the offering before realizing she ought to reply. "I will," she said, giving the vendor a genuine smile. "Thank you very much, sir."

The vendor smiled back and bowed briefly before Judai waved him off and moved on. The skewers, Yubel noted, were delicious.

By the early afternoon Yubel had begun to get more accustomed to being the object of scrutiny that day, particularly after a few more genial encounters with the townspeople. Judai pulled her towards the footraces and athletic competitions in the forest near the town's center. Judai stayed out of the competitions as a rule, he told Yubel, but if he could he loved to watch them go on.

Unlike the vendors Judai was acquainted with less of the competitors here, especially the boys; he knew the men through watching his father, but the boys had far less business with him and since Judai was usually not to stray too far he rarely interacted with the younger people here. Today he took his chance to talk to them, however, and though he and Yubel never participated in the official races they did agree to unofficial ones with some boys. A number of them had initially been reluctant to let Yubel participate (she was a noble girl, how fast could _she_ run?), but once she outraced them enough times to prove she hadn't simply been lucky they were more than eager to match up against her—even if a few had done it mostly to beat the girl of the bunch.

After around an hour the two decided to stop, knowing they'd have to save some energy for the return to the castle. It was still mid-afternoon, though, and before they departed Judai asked Yubel if they could go a little deeper into the woods first.

"Why?" she asked, casting him a puzzled look. "What's there?"

"It's just something I would like to do," Judai said, shifting his balance nervously. "It won't take too long, I promise."

"But are you sure it's safe?"

"As safe as we have been here all today."

Seeing no real harm in his request Yubel acquiesced, and they walked further into the forest for some time. When Judai finally spoke up they were isolated enough so that they were essentially alone, though the sound of the music from inside town could still be heard in muted tones.

"Thank you for coming today, Yubel." Judai's voice was soft but serious, more so than he'd been at any other time all day.

"What do you mean?" Yubel asked. "I should be thanking _you_. It's because of you that I could come here."

A flash of wistfulness crossed Judai's face before he shook his head insistently. "No. I'm very glad I could be with you here today." A moment, and suddenly Judai seemed older: much more like the fourteen-year-old boy he'd be in a few days, ready to mature into the leader he'd been born to be. "Father spoke with you before. Was that about…"

"About what?" Yubel frowned slightly. She could tell there was something being hidden from her or else neither Judai nor the king would be quite so elusive (Judai particularly), but she hadn't yet understood what exactly it was. "He told me you that you were important. That you were more important than the kingdom itself."

Judai was silent for a minute, obviously deliberating on something. For once, it seemed, secrecy won out in him and he closed his eyes before reopening them slowly and turning his head towards the direction of the town. "Yubel," he said then, standing up to look at her again.

"Yes?"

"Will you dance with me?"

The question caught her off-guard and reminded her of the music still playing faintly from the town. "Now? Here?"

"Yes, just for a short time. Please?"

And it was again hard to deny him, when Yubel understood only the surface of things and already knew that inquiry would be a fruitless endeavor, when every action seemed to have an underlying motive beyond the obvious that she might never find out. "All right."

Judai extended his hand, and as Yubel stood up too she took it.

Both of them had had some training in dancing and the customs accompanying it, though for Yubel now was the first time she ever put the lessons to any real use. Judai too, she could tell, was a novice at this, and to an instructor their movements would have been downright clumsy. But as they awkwardly began, listening intently at first for the music's cues, an easy fluidity filled the both of them and the dance transformed from a formulaic set of steps to a real dance, each moving in tandem with the other as if they shared a single mind. One song and one dance flowed into another and that into another still, and before they knew it the sky threatened to soon grow dark.

"We should go back now," Judai murmured regretfully when they saw, and Yubel nodded in agreement with an equal amount of remorse.

They left the town and began the trip back without incident, and when they were about a third of the way up the hill back to the castle the two of them were walking side by side in a comfortable silence. A light breeze whistled through the air, getting louder as it picked up—

And as a dagger landed in the ground to just barely miss Judai's foot, both of them realized that it wasn't just the wind.

"You."

A female voice behind them spoke, hard and cold. They turned around to see a cloaked woman there, her face mostly obscured by a black cloth covering everything below her eyes. Yubel briefly noticed a copper headband and a few strands of black hair before her attention was diverted to the second dagger the woman held in her hand.

"Go." Glancing back at the face, Yubel could see that the woman's eyes were on her. "You have no importance to us. We only want him." The woman tilted her head towards Judai. "Run. And live."

Yubel thought quickly. If they ran, there was no doubt the woman would follow and she wasn't sure they could outrun her. If the woman tried to attack with the dagger…there was no telling what her aim was like. But if they stayed here, she and Judai had a definite disadvantage. Neither of them was armed for this.

But it was too late; the woman was already advancing. "I warn you again. Go."

"No." The response came so quickly Yubel could hardly believe she'd said it, but now that she'd said it she felt more than ready to stand by her statement. Yubel stepped forward, ignoring Judai's exclamation, and spread her arms out in front of him to make the message obvious.

The woman raised the dagger threateningly, and she was close enough that Yubel could see that it was no fake. "You throw away your life."

"I—I don't care." Yubel stood a little straighter, determined to stay where she was. Judai was in danger, and she didn't care how foolish it was trying to defend somebody who could easily defend himself better than she could. She wouldn't stand by and do nothing when he was in danger, and better her death than his. The king had already made that clear in their last meeting.

And even if she were killed, at least if Judai was next then Yubel wouldn't have to watch _him_ die.

A sudden movement, and the dagger dug into the grass just in front of Yubel's foot this time. The cloaked woman was already gone.

"Yubel?" Judai's voice was shaky, but whether it was out of fear or bewilderment or both she couldn't guess. "What just happened…"

"I don't know." Yubel realized her own voice was the same, the unsteadiness covered only by her pounding heart and the disorientation of what they'd just experienced. "I don't know what happened either."

"I-I should tell Father." There was less of a quiver in Judai's voice now, but he looked down and clenched his hands. "He won't like this. But we should tell him."

Yubel took his hand in hers, letting herself have a short moment to just be glad they were both still alive. "Tomorrow," she said, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "Tell him tomorrow."

"But—"

"Tomorrow isn't too far away. But I think you should have a little time first before then, don't you? That wasn't something I'd like to talk about right now, and I don't think you want to either."

Judai was quiet for a moment before conceding, "You're right. Okay." She could feel Judai relaxing, the tension in his hand dissipating. "Tomorrow. Will you come with me, Yubel?"

"Of course I will." Yubel let go of his hand and put a tentative arm around Judai's waist, and to her surprise he leaned against her for a moment, his body limp but warm. Then he straightened and they continued on their way back, only separating from each other once they approached the castle boundaries.

* * *

It was still the dark hours of the morning when the servant came into Yubel's room to wake her, informing her that the king wished to meet with her as soon as possible. Grateful she'd gone to bed early after the night she and Judai had had, Yubel dressed enough to make herself look half-decently presentable and went out to the wing the servant had directed her to.

The king was there, looking as awake as if it were midday. He exited outside, holding back any explanation as to explain why he'd summoned her again (predictable), gracing her with only a quiet "Come."

Yubel followed. She had no idea yet what he intended to speak to her about or why it had to be so early in the morning, but she could already tell that one way or another today would mark the end of her festivities.


	4. Never

**Notes:** For anyone familiar with the translation of the conversation between Yubel and the king in 155 (as I am by now after who knows how much staring at it): yes, I did make some changes. I've tried to keep the general essence, but for the sake of flow and not having things come out awkwardly I've cut and adapted various parts of the dialogue.

**Disclaimer:** GX, its characters, and everything else it encompasses do not belong to me.

**Never**

"_Yubel, listen carefully."_

It had been frightening, going outside to talk with the king. The breeze outside bordered on chilly, making autumn's progression plain, but Yubel paid close attention to the king as ordered. This, she could tell, would be monumental.

"_When the universe was born from nothing, it divided into light and darkness. The light soon faded and darkness filled the universe."_

This was the world as they knew it, Yubel remembered from childhood stories. It was almost as if Yubel was a child again, but the king's tone was flat and impersonal, without any emotion to be found. He continued on, to the threat of the light that would destroy the universe, and neither his expression nor his tone changed a bit as if he were reading from a dull book rather than recounting old lore.

But what was the point of this?

"_Your friend was born with the power of the Supreme King within him. His power will someday save the universe with the gentle darkness."_

It took a second to realize who the king meant, despite the fact that Yubel only had one great friend to speak of. Judai was his son, not merely her friend, so why would the king describe him that way?

And knowing this…Judai was special indeed. The savior anticipated for decades, even centuries—it was a heavy title, and she struggled to console that with the boy she knew.

But the memory of the previous day rose up, and Yubel saw his face in perfect clarity as he asked about the meeting between Yubel and his father. Nearly fourteen years he'd grown up with the knowledge that his fate was to protect the entire world; Yubel had to wonder how he could appear as carefree as he did.

"_But until he matures, someone needs to protect him."_

And that made everything click together: why the king had told her all this, the need for secrecy, why she'd been called here in the first place.

"_Your majesty, please give me that role."_

"_But to protect him, you'll need the strongest of armor so that you can never be harmed. To do that, you will become a hideous dragon."_

"_I don't care, if that is what it will take to protect him!"_

She didn't care about her body. That didn't matter, not compared to Judai.

And besides, the king wanted her. For whatever reasons he had the king wanted her to take on that task, and Yubel was more than willing to comply. She and Judai were friends now, but the fact remained that he was the prince and the one meant to save the world from the light, and she was nothing but a young girl whose path would ultimately separate from his if they didn't make an effort to keep themselves together.

But to be Judai's protector would change all that, because to protect him meant that she would have to be at his side always. It wouldn't be in the same way that Yubel had to admit to herself she'd hoped for a long time, but Judai meant more than anything else in her life did right now, and she couldn't see that ever changing. Compared to a future of marriage to some other nobleman watching him from afar, to just be there with him would be enough.

And Yubel had never felt as natural as she had the previous night, staring down the would-be assassin with all the bravery she could muster and refusing to leave Judai to his death.

It had all been planned.

She was right: the king had meant for her to become Judai's guardian, sending one of his own assassins to create the illusion of danger. It had been a test of Yubel's worth as a friend and protector, and she'd passed absolutely. Yubel, the king explained, was one of the few who they believed could and would bear this duty. The process of creating an ultimate guardian who could be trusted to protect Judai against all danger for as long as he needed was an old secret and could, ironically, only be performed using a young boy or girl whose body hadn't yet begun to mature into that of an adult. And for the same role the chosen guardian needed to be close to Judai, and willing to stay by him for life.

Yubel fit both absolutely.

Yubel took one long, last look at her reflection in the garden fountain. She was fourteen and still she was barely growing physically or—she believed—mentally. On reflection, she didn't have much to miss of normal human life: parents. Family. Classes. And what else? Against the knowledge of what Judai would have to face, her present life seemed dull and stagnant.

_This is who I am now,_ she mused to herself. _But if I can't protect Judai as I am now, I have to change. I_ will_change. I don't want him to die. I want him to live and be safe for as long as he can. For as long as it takes him to do what he needs to do, and be happy. Even if it means I have to change myself, like this, protecting him will ensure that he and everybody_ he _protects will be happy._

She had no idea what was going to happen next. The king had told Yubel little of what kind of creature she would become into beyond a few rudimentary details. She wondered if he himself knew; one of the scarce details she'd been given was that it wouldn't be a human but a monster performing the job. It wouldn't be long now until Yubel submitted herself to whatever they had in store.

She'd been preparing for this all day, fasting since the previous night and making peace with herself so that she didn't lose nerve at the last second. Everyone had assured Yubel that her doing so would be perfectly understandable and that she was welcome to cancel the procedure whenever she wanted, while it wasn't too late. It was as if they _wanted_ her to play the coward and back out. Or worse, perhaps they expected her to do so.

But there was no time for consideration or doubt anymore. It was time to begin now and she had no desire to relent, so Yubel carefully set the hyacinth she'd been holding afloat in the fountain water and watched a soft blue petal tear away from the rest and sink down to the cold stone bottom before turning to leave.

Silence reigned as Yubel entered the room, and she felt all eyes on her as she walked in. There were three people in there, the king not among them. All were large and big-shouldered, two cloaked in dark blue and the last in the middle of them gray and tan. Each was clothed so that everything was hidden from human sight but their eyes, large and pupil-less and red where there was normally white.

The middle one reached out and gestured with one hand, fingers longer and thinner than hers and the skin a blush-gray reminiscent of foreign stone. Yubel understood. This was the right person, and it was time. She nodded, stepping forward, and the monster pointed to a table in the center of the room.

Yubel suppressed a shiver, immediately recognizing the purpose of the table's shackles. She would still be fully conscious when they began, and Yubel had no illusions about how painful it would be. This was necessary, she repeated over and over in her mind. To protect _him_, this had to be done. No matter how painful this might prove, she would endure it all.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm the pounding of her heart, Yubel walked to the table and lay down on it, allowing the three to move into place and lock her into the shackles, blindfolding her as they did. The cold metal made her cringe, and she bit down on her lip to keep herself from making any sound.

_Vowing to protect him until he grows to become a man and yet I shrink back from a bit of metal. I really _am_ weak._

_I want to be stronger. For _him.

Today was his birthday. Yubel had never forgotten that. Today he would be fourteen years old.

Yubel's own birthday would have come in a few months.

She hadn't celebrated his birthday with him. That was Yubel's one regret right now.

A more distant part of her mind, one she'd been trying to ignore, chided her for lying. There were many regrets to be had. Judai would be sorry forever because of this, for one; this was really as selfish, Yubel admitted to herself, as others thought it was selfless. As for herself…

And suddenly came the flood.

Yubel would never plead her mother _no more dresses please, I own too many as it is now._

She would never have another lesson under her tutor's watchful eye.

She would never celebrate Judai's birthday with him, or race with him again, or dance with him again.

Never see him smile again like the boy seeking flowers for his mother's birthday.

Never share with him that realization she'd had that morning, reflecting in the garden.

Never.

_Never._

But it was too late now. She could almost feel the monster hovering over her, impatient to begin.

Yubel went limp and waited. It wasn't long before the procedure began. For whatever reason her eyes were first, and she could feel cold, thin metal poking at them everywhere. Yubel issued a groan, unable to contain herself any longer.

"_Yubel!"_

She knew that voice. But here, now…it couldn't be.

Footsteps sounded, closer and closer until: _"Yubel…you…"_

It was.

The monster was working more rapidly now, the pain escalating ever more and more and Yubel couldn't help but yell even though she'd rather have gone through it all in silence, it hurt so much—

She hadn't wanted him to see this.

The monster made another deft few movements, and the pain lessened for a fleeting second. Yubel took the chance.

"_Judai, I'm—"_

But she never got the chance to finish apologizing.


End file.
